Most of you probably forgot I exist because it’s been about 1000 years since I posted. I took a hiatus. I needed some time to figure out what I was doing with this blog. The hiatus was supposed to be short, but then life happened.
During my away time I’d think back to this blog and make a mental note to post. Then time got ahead of me, as it sometimes does. I got to thinking about why I took the hiatus. In short, I was getting too in my head. Worrying about my numbers, my views, my “niche”. You know what happened? Blogging became less about just enjoying the moment and interacting with others. I started to really resent blogging. I felt like I could only post certain things because the not all posts fell into my “niche”.
Then when my yearly site fees came up I had to really think about if I wanted to renew or not. I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t blogging I had grown to dislike, it was the imaginary rules I pushed on myself.Blogging is supposed to be fun, right? So why was I making it a chore? Who made these rules anyways?
Who says I have to follow them?
So, I’m breaking the chains, and the rules. I’m following my own blogging path. From here on out my blog is going to me a mixed bag of posts. not following some niche. I’m not going to dwell on the numbers. I’m going to post things I want to. I’m going to make my blogging experience fun again. I hope some of you stick around. 🙂
I’ve been on a little blog hiatus. To be honest the last few months have been mentally exhausting. Some days it has taken everything in me just to get out of bed and do the daily things (making sure the kids are taken care of) as a result I have been a crappy blogger.
Things are starting to come around though! 🙂
“Mom, what’s palliative care?”
When my 15 year old said those words last week my heart stopped in my throat. A few years ago he made friends with an older man, J, in the neighbourhood who he had come to adore. We often joked that our son had adopted a grandfather, though that joke was pretty close to reality. These last few months J’s health had been declining. He’d had many hospital stays and we knew it was probably a matter of time, so when my 15 year old asked me I knew where the conversation was going and I was heartbroken.
I’ve spent the last week either taking care of sick kids or being sick myself. In that time I didn’t have much time for things like blogging (or anything, really) but that gave me time to reflect. & some of those reflections were on my blog. I love blogging even though sometimes it feels like I’m talking to myself out here, but I find that I’m doing the same old boring things. I think I’m ready to step out of my comfort zone. I have occasionally posted some personal things, but I tend to play it safe. I think I need more of those personal touches. I’m not ready, but who ever is? Get ready for the real, raw, hot-mess mom moments.
This week has been brutal. I spent Valentine’s night (AKA my husband’s birthday) with a sick, pukey toddler, and that was just the highlight of the week. The bug made it’s way through the house leaving no one behind. In a family of 7 that means over a week of dealing with someone puking. We did manage to have a sick-free day on Saturday where Hubby and I could catch lunch and a movie (date days/nights are still important!) the next day I woke up feeling like death. Lady Girl and I spent the day curled up together sleeping and watching netflix. I lived off of apple juice and applesauce for a couple of days, and it definitely left me hangry. Today I have no energy and my house looks like a tornado hit it after there was a war waged here and I’m too tired to really do anything other than be grumpy about it. Thankfully Hubby’s a better cook than he is a domestic engineer so my kids had home made meals and not take out for three days.
The one good thing about being sick is it seems to have helped me curb my pop addiction, something I’ve struggled with lately (by lately I mean always) , and now I’ve had a few sips of it here and there but I don’t crave it like before. I guess that’s the silver lining of being sick, right?
Like I said last week, things have been hard lately. Finding the things to be thankful for in those moments can be trying, but then I realize that I have a great support system. This week I’m especially thankful for Hubby. He is my rock during these times.