Today has been hard.
It’s been 7 years since I joined the club. The one no one wants to join even though we all know it’s inevitable. I just hadn’t been prepared to join it as early as I did. Having me young meant I should have had years before losing my mom. Before becoming part of the motherless daughter club. Instead she left this world shortly after I had my first daughter. Yes, I’m grateful she got to know my boys, but now I’m also raising two girls without the guidance off a mother. I wish she had gotten to see the kids growing up. She’d love the different personalities they have.
As hard as today is I still have something to be thankful for. Today, I’m thankful for the time I had with her. For the memories I have. For those close to me who listened to me go on and on about my mom today, for those who kept me in their thoughts and sent me positive energy/prayers. For those who helped me get to her funeral when I never thought I’d make it.
November is usually the time the bloggy world talks about all the things they’re thankful for, and while I love the idea I’m not so great on doing it everyday, so I think this year I’ll switch it up and do a weekly thankful.
November rolled in with some great news. My brother and SIL (plus their kids and my other sister) are moving closer to me. We’re going to be neighbours. Literally. We’ll have a wall between us. I know some people would be cringing at the idea, but I’m excited. We’re all really close and my SIL is here constantly as it is, to have them close for real will be a great thing for all of us, including the kids. So this week this is my big thing that I’m thankful for (and the fact I get along so well with my Sister in Law that she’s willing to move close to me) It still seems surreal because it all happened so fast, but as of December 1st they’ll officially be my neighbours. Christmas dinner is going to be fun and easy this year 😉
I don’t often post pics of me. I have an issue. But I don’t have many pics of me & my sister so I thought this one would be nice to post for Silent Sunday (or, I guess, not so silent this week. haha)
I’ve tried to write this entry all day, and it was really hard to get out.
My mom would have been 52 today. It’s hard to imagine her at that age. I wonder if she’d be dying her hair, or if she’d have started to let the grey take over. What would she be doing? She spent a lot of her life raising kids, the youngest is 14 now, so what would my mother’s life look like. Would she be taking care of other people’s children? I can see that, she really loved taking care of kids and often would have random kids over for snacks, dinner, sleep overs for whatever reason. She was often the person my friends went to when they needed to talk to an adult, to feel safe and listened to. I wonder if she’d start looking more like her mother or her father as she aged (both of her sisters each take after one or the other) I imagine that she’d still be the young at heart woman that she had always been.
I miss my mom every day since the day she died.
Sure it’s not as hard as it was that first year, but it’s still there. People say it gets easier. It doesn’t. You just get used to it.
Even though her multiple phone calls every day drove me nuts some days, I wish I had just one more. Even just long enough to tell her how terribly I miss her.
Happy Thanksgiving, Canada!
We celebrated yesterday with a house full of 17 people!! (That’s my brother’s family, my sister, my aunt and her family, and our not so little family) We were stuffed, literally. We have left overs like crazy. It was a fun night. It was loud, but there was so much laughter and love around the table that the loudness was welcomed.
Of course today is Monday, which means it’s music day! I’m having a laid back day now that everyone has left and my deezer is on the country mix, so you get some country music.