I am always amazed how something like a song can bring a rush of memories back.
The other day I hit ‘flow’ on my deezer account and let the music fill the air.
No Doubt came on. They were big in the late 90s right around the time that I was discovering boys and dating and, inevitably, getting my heart broken for the first time. I hadn’t thought about that time, or boy, in a long time, but when that song came on it all came rushing back.
The relationship had started out as friends. Us playing video games after school and just hanging out. We were comfortable together. He made me laugh. He wasn’t like other boys I knew. He liked me the way I was and I felt comfortable being myself around him.
I’m not sure when it changed to something more, but it did, and it was pretty great until it wasn’t.
As an adult I know that it was just a teenage puppy love, but as a teenage girl I was heartbroken.
This song was my anthem, my heartbreak song. It spoke to me in ways nothing else did.
Hearing the song brought back all the memories. The laughter. The fun times. The first time he held my hand. That first kiss. The last one. The nights I spent crying not just over a lost boy, but over the friendship that was now damaged beyond repair.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not longing for the past, in fact I’m happy for it. The broken road, the heartbreaks I went through, all of them lead me to where I am. To my husband, our children our life, and for that I’m extremely happy. God bless the broken road that lead me to this life.
It’s FRIDAY! That means it’s time to talk about some of my favourite things this week!
A Few Of My Favourite Things
Today has been a struggle. I knew it was going to be when I woke up. That feeling that creeps over you when you’re depressed is one you can’t describe. It’s like the earth pulls you down, every movement you take is forced, draining your energy until you feel like you can’t do it anymore and you break down. Today I cried for no reason while my husband was out running errands with our toddler. I didn’t have the energy to clean up, or to even look at the mess. I didn’t have energy to even exist today.
But I did. I got out of bed, I cleaned up the important stuff (dishes) and left the other stuff until hubby could get home and help (because what’s the harm in that?)
Today I continued even though my depression tried to stop me.
I didn’t laugh in it’s face, I didn’t pull out of it or even through it. In fact it’s still lingering, but today I faced it, and survived.
Today was a struggle, but I got through it.
I didn’t post this for a pat on the back. I posted because I know there are many others out there who struggled today. Maybe you were able to get through it, maybe you stayed in bed all day. Maybe it’s been many days of bad days. I won’t say they’ll get better because I know you don’t need to hear that again. I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.
The Black Eyed Peas did a Where Is The Love remake
and it’s everything we need right now!
But if you only got love for your own race
Then you’re gonna leave space for others to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate, then you’re bound to get irate
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that’s exactly how hate works and operates
Man, we gotta set it straight
What happened to the love and the values of humanity?
What happened to the love and the fairness and equality?
Instead of spreading love we’re spreading animosity
Lack of understanding leading us away from unity
Where Is The Love?!